Uncertainty.

A few words about diving into the unknown.

My name is not Naomi. It’s a nom de plume to protect my identity. Though names have been changed, all the stories in Gen XXX are true. My anonymity means that I rely solely on word of mouth to grow my subscriber base, so if you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I encourage you to share with friends. And if you’re already subscribed, won’t you please consider a paid subscription?

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This week’s newsletter is short. Very short. I’m really struggling with regards to writing about my relationship with Jacob — how to do it, or whether to do it at all. Over the past few weeks, my connection with him has deepened considerably, in a way that brings me great joy and considerable fear. After all, he’s married. And I don’t expect him to leave his wife.

But what happens if, down the line, I want him to?

What happens if his wife decides that experimenting with an open relationship isn’t working for her?

What happens if I tell him I’ve been writing about him?

What happens if I don’t?

What happens if I get off the sex app?

What happens if I don’t?

What happens if I can’t publish this newsletter because I’m no longer willing (or able) to write about my sex life?

These are questions to consider. Questions I don’t have answers for. As I said to one of my female friends, I know what I feel, but I don’t know what I want.

Her response?

“You better figure that out, and fast.”