Tracy.
A conversation with writer Tracy Clark-Flory about white lady erotic awakenings, the "cougars" in The White Lotus, and generational differences around how we talk about — and have — sex.
Earlier this week, I sat down — virtually, that is — with the essayist, memoirist and Substack writer Tracy Clark-Flory. I was interested in talking to Tracy because, as someone who has been writing about sex for over a decade, I felt she might have some insights into how we’re currently thinking, and talking, about sex, both culturally and politically. The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
NAOMI: I don’t have a specific agenda, but, as someone who has been writing, observing, thinking, explicating, articulating things about sex and sexuality and culture for such a long time, my first question is: what differences do you see right now between generations, Z, millennial and Gen X and their approach to sex, whether it means actual sexual practices or the ways in which they talk about it?
TRACY: I think the main difference that pops out to me between Gen X and millennials is porn and the internet. When I talk to women who've read my memoir, Want Me, which is about my sexual coming of age, even women who are just a few years older than me report having a very different cultural experience. Their coming of age was not happening on the internet, with the total explosion of reality-TV, or with those other cultural touchstones like Girls Gone Wild.
That cultural setting is so profoundly different, even just in a matter of a few years. And then between millennials and Gen Z, one of the things that's amazing to me is the number of 20-something women who've read my book and are like, “I relate completely, 100%.”
One thing I'm noticing with Gen Z women that feels like completely different from when I was in my twenties is the way they're having conversations about “decentering men,” abstaining from sex, experimenting with periods of celibacy, and really critiquing the institution of heterosexuality. It was just not something that was mainstream when I was in my twenties.