Margot.
A chat with an old friend on taking testosterone, navigating sex with a new lover, and fantasies of MFM threesomes.
Margot* is a 52-year-old writer and comedian that I’ve known since we were in our late 20s, when we were both single and a little sex-crazed. (Things stay the same, I guess.) Earlier this week, Margot and I hopped on the phone for a wide-ranging conversation about hormone replacement therapy, her famous actor ex and using Chat GPT for relationship advice.
What follows is a condensed and edited version of our conversation.
*Not her real name.
NAOMI: How are you feeling now that you’re on the hormones?
MARGO: I feel like a different person. I feel like my old self again, it's so remarkable.
NAOMI: How long has it been?
MARGOT: The progesterone, I only take it at the back half of my cycle. That's been since February. It was making me suicidal back in October, November. I was hysterical. I was weepy. I started on a hundred 25 milligrams, and I was like, “Fuck this.” It was making me feel worse. And so I stopped. But then a couple of my girlfriends were just like, Margot, it makes us feel so good, and we sleep so much better. So I tried a low dose, 50mg, and it was actually pretty good. So 50mg at the back half of my cycle, but I still was having anxiety. Another girlfriend told me, “You need to be on estrogen.” So I asked my gyno last month. She said, sure, “I'll start you on it.” The anxiety and depression are gone. Now with the testosterone, I have so much energy. It's amped up my sex drive to where I'm like, “Oh, shit.”
NAOMI: Please say more about that.
MARGOT: The sex drive? I just went on it four days ago, and I can't believe how horny I am. I have a really high sex drive as it is, but it's through the roof, where I feel like a teenage boy. But I kind of like it. I do.
NAOMI: You still have it. You still have the capacity for intense desire, which we often worry is going to go away when we get older.
MARGOT: It’s not gone away. It probably helps that I have this hot new lover too. Having incredible sex is helping. This was interesting to me. I write in this cafe every day, usually in the morning. It’s quite popular. Today I walked in and literally every dude in there looked up at me, every single one of 'em. Maybe it's also because it’s springtime, but I do feel like my vibe became so different since I got on the hormones and started having great sex. It's all coming together.
NAOMI: Yeah. It's like they can smell it on you.
MARGOT: Yes. I actually feel like I'm vibrating very fast. It’s pretty crazy.
NAOMI: Does it feel speedy? You're on speed?
MARGOT: I’m definitely way more energetic.
NAOMI: Okay. But you don't feel anxious or agitated?
MARGOT: I just feel up. I feel young again. You have to understand. I had babies. I got pregnant the first time when I was 35. So my hormones have been out of whack for a really long time. Now I actually feel like how I felt before I got married and had kids.
NAOMI: Now that you’re on the testosterone, do you feel you have the same level of sex drive you had were when you were younger, or is it more intense? I mean, I know that's a hard question.
MARGOT: It’s funny. I saw my first boyfriend while I was in New York, and we hung out and caught up. He’s like, “Everybody says their sex drives have lessened. Has it lessened for you?” I said, “No, it hasn’t.” We had so much sex when we were together. Thousands of times. Compared to that, now that I'm on the testosterone, I'm just like, “What the fuck?” It's crazy.
NAOMI: Does being on the testosterone make you feel like you understand men better?